Posts by Sail Away

19

Starting To Wake Up

by Searching in

i suppose after lurking around for a few weeks i thought i might share my own personal story, as i think it would probably be a very freeing experience for me right now.

to start off, at 23 years old i'm actually a third-generation jw, my grandparents were baptized (my grandfather is actually an elder) when my mother was only a toddler, she was raised as a witness, then of course, married a witness and thus myself and my two brothers were born-in's.

growing up my mother was always very careful about what she taught me, all the good things for sure, about how we would live in a paradise earth and i could pet all the animals that i wanted and not worry about growing old, and she'd ask me who in the bible i'd love to see and talk with - my grandparents however, were a different story and the cause of i think, most of my childhood trauma.. they really drilled home the fact that we were the only people who were going to be saved, we were the only people that were going to survive and that everyone else was going to die horribly - that i shouldn't try to make that many friends in school because they would never be "real" friends unless they were fellow jw's and they would die anyway.

Sail Away

Your questions are what lead me to walk away. My son has always been a gentle soul and is a beautiful young man. He married his childhood friend and sweetheart, a JW with terminal cancer. Things ended badly, as one might expect. He was deeply hurt and acted out. The elders kicked him to the curb and DF'd him. I couldn't shun him; I wouldn't.

I began to reason, if I was going to live forever in a paradise earth without my husband and daughter who walked away and my son who was DF'd, wouldn't Jehovah have to erase them from my memory? If I didn't remember I had been a wife and a mother, who would that be in paradise? Certainly not me. I chose life here and now with my family over a doctrine that made no sense to me. Best choice ever-- the only one if you love your family more than a fairy tale.

16

Connection between shunning and Alzheimer's

by poopie in

jw
friends

another reason to stop social isolation..

Sail Away

Chook: Maybe it affects people with rejection issues, it's the most vile of diseases, we had a family member affected in the last 12 months, he went from normal to being in full time care sometimes being spoon fed. It maybe the bodies way of shutting out emotional pain, who knows?

That sounds like an exceedingly fast progression for this disease! I hope there has been more than one medical opinion on this.

And, yes, there is such a thing a pseudo-dementia which happens when someone is highly anxious and depressed about something and in denial about it at the same time. The patient starts exhibiting signs of dementia including short-term memory loss, disorientation, mood swings, aberrant behavior, threatening, etc.

21

Help/Advice on Birthday Present

by Phizzy in

jw
friends

i have a very xjw type problem, i am invited to my cousin's 70th birthday party, and really don't know what to buy him.. i only met him a couple of months ago, as my jw parents never encouraged the non-jw side of the family, so i don't know much about him, except that he is retired and his hobby is sailing his boat.. i don't have contact details for his kids etc to ask them for ideas, so could you come up with something please ?

not too extravagant, i am a poor pensioner !

but, it is his 70th.. thanks in advance for any tips !.

Sail Away

Are there any marine supply stores near you? They often have a small gift area. Maybe one of those mugs that keeps liquids hot or cold for 24 hours? They are always handy. Someone at the store may have another suggestion. Sailors often like practical gifts. My husband has a fetish for flashlights. Just make sure it has both white and red lenses. Red helps with night vision. Have fun!

29

Have you ever come across someone on this site or other exjw site that you knew?

by karter in

2 for me 1 from my old congro in the 80's and another that was in the same circle of friends.. karter..

Sail Away

No, not directly, but I have met up with several ex-JWs who knew people in common, or when we have surmised that we are from the same area. I'm not in hiding, so there are clues in my posts. Also, there is a chance my husband knows Pete Zahut. It seems they were at Bethel at the same time. We are out of country visiting family and meeting our new grandson now, so I will send a PM when we return.

I have tried to contact ex-JWs/faders in my area, but they don't respond. I guess they just want to move on. I get that.

Diane

116

What is behind your choice of forum user name?

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

just curious how we all think.. what prompted or influenced your choice of username for this forum?.

there are some really amazing names, and it would be great to hear the stories behind them.... mine was nothing fancy.

i just felt "stuck in a rut too" along with so many others.

Sail Away

At one point in my waking up process, my husband and I chartered a sailboat in the waters around Emerald Island in Florida for our anniversary. I took the helm for the entire week. One particularly gorgeous day on a challenging reach with winds gusting to 30 knots, I had the thought-- 'I wonder what life would be like if I never had to wear heels, nylons or dresses ever again-- just barefoot, in the sun, wearing shorts, no meetings, no Bible, no service. . .?' That was in late May. I sailed away on July 3 for good.

Never underestimate the power of time away from the Borg.

16

Fatherless Boys

by JW_Rogue in

the wt teaches that "fatherless boys" need special care and attention in the congregation.

however, as brought out at the rc their definition of "fatherless boys" includes boys that have actual fathers who maybe very well qualified to teach and raise their sons.

according to wt, if either of your parents aren't jws then you are a "fatherless boy.

Sail Away

SAIL AWAY:

I know you want to "thank" this guy for letting your son see the light and free himself, but this person deserves to be put in his place for this emotional abuse. Witnesses think they can say anything they want and you are just supposed to "take it" especially if you are young. They think people are supposed to be whipping boys or sounding boards. Just what do they see themselves as?? --LongHairGal

Thanks for your perspective. I'll think it over. I didn't want to return his abusive speech in kind. I don't like allowing another's actions to shape mine, so maybe a carefully worded statement regarding his abuse is, in fact, warranted.

Oh, and calling him out on lying to my face is back on the table!

Diane

23

How Do You Get Most of Your News?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i read that many people get their news from facebook.

i look online mostly at fox news and the drudge report.

very seldom do i look at cnn.😎.

Sail Away

I haven't watched network news since the Sandy Hook shootings in my state. Word gets around fast. If something big is brewing, I check The Washington Post (at least it's intelligently written) and Aljazerra (English). I have both apps on my phone.

21

Convention Horror Video for J.W.'s Young Children

by The Searcher in

in part 3 of remember the wife of lot, prepubescent j.w.

kids are going to be shown something which demonstrates that the org condones watching disturbing horror content.

the "direction" the wtbts is taking is breathtaking.

Sail Away

I can't even watch. Setting up another generation of JW children up for PTSD.

20

When was the first time you said, "thank you for your service" to someone?

by Coded Logic in

mine was to some random guy in uniform i saw on the street about two years ago.

even as a jw i knew that we had a lot of freedoms here in the us that were hard earned.

it felt really good to finally be able to say in person to someone when i i did..

Sail Away

The first time I thanked a vet for his service and reached to shake his hand he teared up. I offered a hug, and he accepted it. It was a beautiful moment I will always treasure.

14

How Long Out Before They leave You Alone

by tepidpoultry in

many years ago i met an older man in the ministry who told me he was a baptized jw years ago, when i met him he was an alchoholic and had girlfriends, i told the elders, two came by and they told me to treat him as a regular worldly guy, my question is (i know this is a fuzzy area) about how much time needs to go by before someone (me for instance) would be looked upon as a non jw worldly person?.

:0).

Sail Away

For me it was 5 months of daily attempts at contact-- email, voicemail, visits, drive bys, notes in the door, text messages, letters, notes and crayon drawings from children. I ignored every. single. one. And then dead silence until the next Memorial when I received an invitation in the door. I was home. They didn't even knock.

A couple of years later I freaked out when a two-elder hit squad showed up on my door step with the new 'silver sword'. I have PTSD. Enough already. I sent a letter of resignation by way of my lawyer. I like boundaries. I am happy to exchange pleasantries should we cross paths in town, but no random visits in any official capacity. I threatened to sue them if they announced my name from the platform. Apparently they took me at my word. Still no public shunning.